When should you think about divorce? Is it when your marriage has been on the rocks for a year or longer? Should you start thinking about it after only a couple months of trouble? Attorneys have actually long advocated “divorce planning” in the form of prenuptial agreements before a couple ever takes their vows.
Some attorneys say that you might want to think about the possibility of divorce at the start of a relationship. Here are some questions that could tell you if a first date is potential mate material — or a divorce that’s waiting to happen:
1. Are you looking for a soul mate and endless romance?
Someone who believes in soul mates and any version of an endless romance isn’t likely to be satisfied with the real work that a marriage takes. They’re looking for a fairy-tale romance, not the real thing. Once the shine of a new romance is gone, they may be gone with it.
2. What do you like to do for relaxation?
You can also ask about where your date went on vacation or what his or her hobbies are. What you’re really asking is whether they’re content to watch a movie or they need to spend a lot of money to have a good time. Since money is a significant factor in a lot of divorces, you want to make sure that you and your date have similar views about shopping, spending and saving.
3. What happened to your previous relationship?
Is your date able to look back at the relationship with any distance? Does he or she accept any responsibility for the failure? Is there any humor about the past? Anyone who is bitter and full of anger at the past hasn’t let go and isn’t showing any personal growth from the situation. Plus, there are probably clues in the answer that will tell you if there are potential problems for you down the line as well.
The best way to avoid a divorce down the line is to avoid a mismatched relationship at the very start.
Source: Huffington Post, “9 Questions To Ask On A First Date, According To Divorce Lawyers,” Brittany Wong, Jan. 23, 2018
