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Trouble moving on after divorce? Facebook may be the problem

We live in the age of social media, which means we are often privy to a lot more information about other people than we would have been in the past. This is usually considered a good thing, but there are some definite down sides as well.

If you’re going through a divorce or have already gotten a divorce, there are at least two reasons why spending time on Facebook may be resulting in more harm than good. The first reason is that information posted on social media sites is increasingly being used as evidence in divorce and child custody cases. The second problem with social media is that it can keep us psychologically connected to an ex-spouse long after the divorce has been finalized.

Pictures, status updates and even private messages that we put online can be dangerous during a family law dispute. Social media sites are often a gold mine of potentially damaging personal information; and such data is increasingly being used as evidence in family law disputes. For the purposes of today’s post, however, we are going to focus more on the second problem with social media after divorce: lack of closure.

It used to be the case that a break-up was the end of the road, so to speak. It wasn’t easy to know what your ex was up to, and there was little temptation to find out. With Facebook and similar sites, however, you may find it hard to resist torturing yourself with news about your ex, their new relationships and any other information that might keep you from moving on and letting go.

The situation is a little different if you and your ex-spouse remain connected through joint custody. Even in these cases, however, you may not be doing yourself any favors by searching for details about your ex’s social or romantic life.

Social media is a great way to stay connected, but there are times when staying connected is perhaps the last thing you should be doing. Once the divorce is finalized, it may also be time to “un-friend” your ex on Facebook.

Source: The Huffington Post, "Facebook Is Not Helping You Move on," Tracy Schorn, Jan. 16, 2014

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